”Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit”. I remember reading this quote in my last year of high school, full of juvenile cynicism and anger, thinking E.E. Cummings must’ve been high as a kite when he wrote this wishy-washy foolishness. It took me years to realize why this particular topic aggravated me.
It’s hard to talk about something that hits too close to home. I spent so much time wondering how I could get rid of my low self-esteem, how to become ”confident”. The problem is that I gave the word a completely different meaning. I thought to be ”confident” meant not caring what other people thought of me while believing I was the center of the universe. Which is complete and utter bullshit if you ask me. I still give a shit, a lot of shit. I still worry about the way people perceive me. Not because I’m dependent on their opinions, but because I’m human.
The teeny tiny little difference is my perception of MYSELF. How I feel about myself can not and should not be influenced by external factors. Yes, I might worry about why someone doesn’t like me, but I would never let that do any damage to my self-worth. I am enough, regardless of what anyone thinks or says about me and regardless of any personal failures or setbacks. No one is perfect, but as long as you’re okay with your flaws and compassionate towards yourself and others, you’ll fine 😉 Until next time buttercups!